How to eat Mangos

  • Normal People
    1. Get a mango from the fridge
    2. Peel the skin with a knife
    3. Eat with a fork
  • Pakistanis
    1. Get 3 mangos from the fridge
    2. Take a large towel
    3. Gently press a mango with your thumb from all sides, as if you are giving it a Swiss massage
    4. Keep pressing until it feels like a balloon filled with water
    5. Now pull out the top of the skin
    6. Drink the juice directly into your mouth
    7. Now peel the skin with your bare hands
    8. Eat the leftover of insides like a maniac
    9. Repeat steps 3 to 8 with mango number 2
    10. Repeat steps 3 to 8 with mango number 3
    11. Get 3 more mangos from the fridge
    12. Repeat till there are no more mangos
  • How to eat mangos in July:
  • Normal People
    Same as in June
  • Pakistanis
    1. Find a large bath tub
    2. Fill it with water
    3. Now fill it with ice
    4. Now fill it with mangos
    5. Now sit in the tub
    6. Now pass a mental resolution that every mango around you shall be eaten. Take a day off from work if needed
  • Note: The Pakistani style requires a certain expertise passed on from generation to generation, and can only be executed on certain type of mangos. Don’t try it without consulting an expert (such as a Pakistani around you)
  • Note 2: If you consult a Pakistani on the above, he/she will have a legal right to take half of your mangos.
  • Note 3: Don’t forget the towel

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