Ghalib on Twitter

If Ghalib had a facebook / twitter account, his daily blabbering would read something like this.

دل ے ناداں تجھے ھوا کیا ہے
O my stupid heart
تینو کی پسوڑی پے گئی اے
آخر اس درد کی دوا کیا ہے
Afterall
کتھے وے تیرے حکیم دا کشتہ
ھم ھیں مشتاق اور وہ بیزار
We the anxious
تے انہاں نوکگھی چڑھ گئی اے
یا الہی یہ ماجرہ کیا ہے
My God
اے کی ھوندا پیا اے

How do people react to your facebook status!

 

My Status: I am visiting Bhutan and here are some pictures of the mountains
Friend 1: Nice. I visited Bhutan 7 years ago. Much before you visited. I know all the places there. All of them. You must try the coffee shop on 7th street
Friend 2: Bhutan has always been my favourite. Always. They invented happiness. I am so happy
Friend 1. I have visited all the countries in that region. Last year I went to Nepal too
Friend 3: Which camera do you use. I have a DSLR x450. It has an amazing acupuncture. I also have DSLR x250E, but I only use it for night shots
Friend 4: Oh I have DSLR x250E too. I like sports photography. Last year I went to PSL with my camera
Friend 5: I went to PSL too. Sports photography has always been my passion. Always.
Friend 3: I met Imran Farhat last year
Friend 4: I met almost all the players of Peshawar Zalmi. They were in a bus and I waived at them
Friend 6: Wow, nice travels. I always loved Bhutan. Someday I will go there.
Friend 7. Very true. 3 things I love the most. Justin Trudeau, Pocahontas and Bhutan. But your camera angles are very blurred. You need to use filter 3C or 7C. I have tons of them at home
Friend 8: I know what you mean by blurred angles. I used to have Xbox 360.
Friend 9: People. While we are at it, there are hundreds of people in the world suffering today with night froggy syndrome. Its real and its dangerous. I know 97% of you will not give a rat’s tail about night froggy. But my real friends are those 3% who will. I know who you are. So please copy and paste this message by pressing your figure on the screen till its says copy and then doing the paste thing.
Me: Guys I am back from Bhutan already. Please stop posting any comments
Friend 1: When I visited there, I stayed for much longer. I also visited their mountain peaks. All of them.
Me: I am quitting facebook.

How to eat Mangos

  • Normal People
    1. Get a mango from the fridge
    2. Peel the skin with a knife
    3. Eat with a fork
  • Pakistanis
    1. Get 3 mangos from the fridge
    2. Take a large towel
    3. Gently press a mango with your thumb from all sides, as if you are giving it a Swiss massage
    4. Keep pressing until it feels like a balloon filled with water
    5. Now pull out the top of the skin
    6. Drink the juice directly into your mouth
    7. Now peel the skin with your bare hands
    8. Eat the leftover of insides like a maniac
    9. Repeat steps 3 to 8 with mango number 2
    10. Repeat steps 3 to 8 with mango number 3
    11. Get 3 more mangos from the fridge
    12. Repeat till there are no more mangos
  • How to eat mangos in July:
  • Normal People
    Same as in June
  • Pakistanis
    1. Find a large bath tub
    2. Fill it with water
    3. Now fill it with ice
    4. Now fill it with mangos
    5. Now sit in the tub
    6. Now pass a mental resolution that every mango around you shall be eaten. Take a day off from work if needed
  • Note: The Pakistani style requires a certain expertise passed on from generation to generation, and can only be executed on certain type of mangos. Don’t try it without consulting an expert (such as a Pakistani around you)
  • Note 2: If you consult a Pakistani on the above, he/she will have a legal right to take half of your mangos.
  • Note 3: Don’t forget the towel

In a swift span
Amidst the brewing breeze
And the staggering sun
A cursory curiosity
A persuasion
A Passion
Like a catalyst
Instant
transformational
Seamlessly stressing
Simple
Yet surprisingly similar to nothing
Like a freshly baked bread
Over a fading frost
With shades leaving the shelves
And a lingering light
And straying strings
Narrowing nowhere
Deceiving dices
Setting sun
As the world fades away
Forgetting the frivolities
Screams…
The silence
Spurring slogs to the slums
Screams…
The silence
Before I wake up
Before I am alive
And after…
A cursory curiosity
A persuasion
A Passion
Screams… the silence
In a swift span

The world of passwords

To say that technology has changed our lives would be an understatement. But today I was thinking about just one aspect of it, i.e. the need to memorize a large number of passwords and pin codes.

When I was in school, even in university, the concept of passwords was fairly novel to me. At max, I had to memorize 2 or maybe 3 passwords, mainly to operate my email or to log on to university computer system. Today, the number of passwords, codes, and pins that I have to remember to open, operate or even look at things is mind-boggling. Here’s a short list of such things:

Office email password
Office user ID password
Personal email password – Yahoo Mail (yep I am old school)
Personal laptop password
ATM pin
Credit Card pin (thankfully I have only 1 credit card)
My wife’s credit card pin (don’t know why I remember it 
Facebook password
Twitter password
Wordpress password
Skype password (I hardly use it, and tend to forget it often)
Mobile phone password
Internet banking password
DEWA password (electricity and water online billing)
Home wifi password
Road tax billing (Salik) Pin
Phone banking pin

There are more, but let’s not go into everything here 

And here’s the interesting part. All of these passwords / PINs are different. I do not use one password for two things. And all of these are (except for pins) around 12 characters long, using alpha-numeric combinations. And as any cyber security person would advise you, I do not write these passwords down anywhere.

This got me thinking. What if for some reason (God forbid), I suddenly lose memory of all these passwords. Just the passwords, nothing else. It may deeply impact my ability to function as a human being . This is true for a lot of people like me. Our world today is connected with a string of virtual, somewhat secure, but strangely effervescent bits, all in an invisible web.

This is not to say that technology has made our lives complex. Quite the opposite really. With all these passwords and pins, I am able to save a lot of time and hardship that people in 90s could hardly imagine. All that I have to do is to remember all these alphanumeric figures that open the portals I need to get things done. Like mysterious words such as “khul ja sim sim”; and the job gets done.

Thankfully, some things in life have not changed. And may never change. The ability to enjoy the “real” things in life, still does not require us to memorize a bunch of codes. I don’t need a password to be able to kiss my daughter. To have a nice cup of tea with my wife in a chilled winter evening, does not require a pin code. A stroll in the park, a dash in the jogging track, an intriguing movie at night, looking at a masterpiece of art, reading a good book, and various other such demeanors of life, do not require any secret code, or log-in credentials.

So maybe life hasn’t changed that much. It has only transformed in those aspects where the human race continues to be in a transition mode. Fading of one technology making room for the other, which would surely fade away soon to make room for yet another. But the most natural, the real avenues of life, our core tasks, remain unchanged.

The nature itself, remains as natural as it was thousands of year ago. Uninterrupted by any new way of life, unmoved by any new need to secure, save, open or operate the virtual domains. And thank God for that.